Relationship Advice 024: The Tale of the Broken-hearted

There comes a time when a girl realizes that life is not a fairytale, there is no happily ever after, love doesn’t conquer all. There is no prince charming and there are no friendships that last a lifetime. Ladies and gentlemen, this is real life and in real life there’s heartbreak, in real life you cry a hundred tears and drown in your sorrows in hope of one day being able to smile again and that everything is alright and that you’ll be okay. It isn’t until after you make mistakes and you lose that you realize that you were wrong and the hurt you thought you once felt only hurts so much more. Believe me, chick flicks help, but only for a little while because once its over nothing has really changed for you, it was just a distraction.

In times of need we all have hope and faith in having things return to their original state or “back to normal” and we anticipate the love and support of a significant other now more than ever, but more often than not, they’re never there. I guess what I’m trying to get at is how can you plan on forever and when you’re with someone you’re unhappy and without them, the pain is even worse?

Friendships Fall Apart

So last night I guess you can say I got to see the real side of someone who I thought was a friend of mine. Today, well, today I made it known that that is no longer the case. There’s no point in holding on to something if you know for certain that it won’t be beneficial and is just a waste of your time. 

I don’t really know how I feel about the situation, but I feel that no one’s perfect and should be given an opportunity to show that no matter what, even if their past doesn’t look too promising. This person in particular didn’t have a good history, but made themselves a better person because of it, or so I thought.

Blog family I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t hold on to nonsensical situations, especially friendships if you know that nothing can become of them. That’s not to say never give someone a chance, some people do change, it’s just that there are others who do not. In the case of this friendship, I’m happy I came to this realization early rather than getting hurt over it later on.

What do you think? Do you put hope into friendships with the intention of having it work out and later hurting from a negative situation?

Ciao for now! xo

Relationship Advice 023: Analysing a Relationship Realistically

Hey guys, 

So since I’ve finished school I’ve been really focusing on myself and what I have planned for my future. I’m glad to announce that I’m starting teacher’s college this coming Fall and I know it will be tough with the many new complications it adds to my life, but it’ll be a good experience.

I guess I sort of wanted to write this post because I know A LOT of people who have recently come to  terms with wanting to change their lives in preparation for their future. I have single friends who are just absolutely confused as to whether they ever want to be in a relationship ever again or whether or not they should rekindle an old flame. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again:

RELATIONSHIPS ARE TOUGH!

Relationships demand a lot from both sides, they not only require commitment, but a mutual understanding and trust within each other. To me, love doesn’t always conquer all and sometimes we need to take a step back and analyse a relationship realistically. If someone is too busy for you now, or in other words, a workaholic, that’ll never change and it might even get worse in the future. If someone is lazy and not goal driven, don’t feel that you have the power to change them. One must come to terms with the fact that no one can change you, but yourself, so if you are not open to change, it’ll never come your way.

I’m sorry for those of you who may be thinking that I’m being very straightforward and serious, but there is only so much fooling around a person can do. I know guys who talk to so many girls at once, that they are oblivious to the ones who really do care for them and others who are the ultimate Mr. Nice Guys, but seem to never find that perfect girl.

Personally, I think being able to analyse a relationship realistically is beneficial to both you and your current or future partner because it reassures them of your commitment. If someone cannot realistically look at the short comings and the positives simultaneously in a relationship, they may not be as serious as you are and that’s something you are better off finding out sooner rather than later.

What do you think? xo

Relationship Advice 022: When in doubt…turn to Nicholas Sparks!

Hey dolls,

When it comes to relationships one thing we’re all used to are problems, either big or small, important or stupid, we all have them. I know quite a few ladies, myself included, when all else fails, dive themselves into chick flicks:

The Notebook

Dear John

The Last Song

A Walk to Remember

Sound familar?

Trust me, you’re not alone! Lately, I’ve found myself reading a lot more than usual and of course, Nicholas Sparks, the most romantic author ever, is who I’ve taken the greatest interest in. I know when those few movies came out, I went crazy and was super excited to see them, I even have the DVDs at home. So I thought, since I’m offically done school for the next few months, why not take this new-found hobby of mine and put it to work, so my goal for this summer is to get through as many Nicholas Spark’s novels as I can.

So far, I’ve read one, but I’m about half way into my second. The first was called, A Bend in the Road, an amazing, yet unforgetable love story. The novel captivated me and with school I read it in about 3 days. I’d like us to start something, my reader’s and I called:

Sparks Stars,

where we will rate our favourite Nicholas Spark’s films or novels. For me, A Bend in the Road is 5/5 stars, it kept me so interested, I couldn’t put down the book. The newest book I’m reading is, The Lucky One, and no, I wasn’t aware that it is his newest novel turned film coming out towards the end of April. I’m so excited and can’t wait to watch the film. I will make sure I finish the book before then.

Anyway, I just thought I would let you know, that when in doubt, dive into a Nicholas Sparks romance novel, ladies, he might just be the most romantic man out there and fellas, you might want to take a lesson! Here’s the trailer for The Lucky One. Watch it and let me know what you think!

Happy Saturday! Ciao for now! xoxo

Relationship Advice 021: Am I Better Off Alone?

Have you ever felt that you’re your own worst enemy? When you have something that is all you’ve ever wanted, or even needed and yet, you always have a way of ruining it? You can try to blame it on everyone or everything else, but in the end you know its your own doing. You’re not alone, others have been there too. My advice: maybe you should be alone. 

That’s not to say that there wont be tears and memories, urges to reach out to someone or days when you need a shoulder, but maybe you need time to reflect and fix yourself before attempting to move forward. Sometimes the people you want to help you or people you think will make you feel better wont be there. One thing that I’ve been accustomed to is having people walk in and out of my life, but to be honest, I think its just a part of a learning process, you’ve learned from them and yet you’ll never forget them.

Being alone isn’t as bad as it sounds. If you think about it, you come into the world alone and when you leave, you leave alone. Like life, many things are temporary and nothing is ever present for a lifetime except for you.

In the end, being alone will help you decide who and what you are, your importance, your pleasures and pains, and your plan for what’s next. You are who you are and no one can change that.

Readers, live everyday like its your last. Make yourself happy even if its just for that temporary moment, you may never get it back. Life is short and time waits for no one. I’ve seen a lot of endings in the last little while, many people have passed away and moved on to what it said to be a “better” place, let’s hope it is.

-xoxo

End of School Update!

Good morning blog family,

So as I’ve mentioned before, I’m in my final year of my undergrad and tomorrow is my last day! It’s kind of a bitter sweet moment to me. Some expect me to be super excited and ready to run out of there without looking back, whereas others are more curious of what my next step is, the new chapter in my life.

Looking back, where did the time go? University has been the best experience of my life thus far and I sort of wish it wasn’t over. I don’t know how to come to terms with the fact that I wont be returning their next year. I guess after something has been your life for the past few years, change is not always welcome, but comes anyway.

I’ve never been one to adapt well to change, but I know in this situation it’ll be one step closer to me achieving goals that I’ve set for myself many, many years ago. It has always been my dream to be a teacher and though the process of getting there has been a lot of work, one more year is well worth it.

Support is one of the things in my life that has always been my backbone and my reason to never give up. My family has always been supportive in my choices and there to talk me through my concerns. Though I’m sad to say goodbye to my home-away-from-home, I’ve learnt a lot being there and I hope to learn a lot where ever I find myself next year.

Blog family, thank you for your support and patience in my crazy, crazy process of applications and now, the wait for acceptances into teacher’s college. If their are any other graduates reading, good luck and congratulations, you did it! We did it! 

Ciao for now dolls! xoxo

Brothers are the Best!

Hey guys,

So for those of you who know me and have been reading for quite some time now, you know when I’m going through a rough patch I don’t hold back and I share my thoughts and feelings the best way I know how, through writing to my blog family! I love you all so much and appreciate all of your likes, comments, and continuous support. That being said, yes I’m yet again going through a rough time with a few things, but with the men in my life, I think I’ll be okay.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I have a younger brother (who thinks he’s my older brother most of the time and with his height, believe me, you would agree) and I have a cousin, who I’ve grown up with like an older brother. I also grew up with many male cousins and have been blessed with a dad who has allowed me to live what I would call a life of luxury for the past twenty-two years.

If you don’t know me well through my past posts, let me just say that I am a very emotional girl and I’m proud of it. I’ve never been one to hold back in regards to showing my feelings and from a young age found myself being able to express my emotions better through my writing than my words.

Whenever something has been eating me up inside, have it be school, family or friend problems, or heartbreaks I know that no matter what my brothers will always be there. Today was no exception. I was overwhelmed with so many things and of course, my younger brother could tell right off the bat that something was wrong and went out of his way to try and make me smile and laugh. I know, it sounds like we have an amazing sibling dynamic right? We do fight sometimes, but for the most part, we’ve bonded a lot over the past few years and I love my brother. For those of you who are curious as to whether he was successful in making me smile, yes, but he also didn’t miss the few tears that trickled down my cheeks either.

As for my other brother, no one knows me better than him. We grew up closer than anyone I know, he knows me probably better than I know myself and whenever I send out a distress call, he’s right there with me. It’s almost like my problems are his and I don’t know what I would do without him.

I guess tonight my take home message is for the ladies,

Look at the men in your life. Look at the way they treat you, talk to you, take care of you and let that be an example of what you deserve. Honey, you deserve the world and all that’s in it and if a gentleman comes along that will spoil you like your dad, care for you and love you and protect you like your brothers, give him a chance.

I’m a very lucky girl and yes, I may not have a lot of girlfriends, but I have the support of amazing men who I know will never break my heart and I hope that those of you out there acknowledge the love and support of the men in your life.

To the fathers, brothers, cousins, uncles out there…

Thank you for setting an example of what a good man should be like and letting us know how we deserve to be treated and how much love and support we have around us always.

Ciao for now dolls! xoxo

Transitions. New Chapters. Memories.

Sometimes in the mist of our busy lives, hectic schedules, and upcoming plans we lose sight of what’s really important. We push aside things we have to do and dwell on “what might be one day” rather than ” what we have today”. And through all of that, we can become oblivious to the people and things that matter the most.

Coming to terms with transitions in life is overwhelming. Like having to take that first or beginning a new chapter. In a sense, I guess it could be related to how a parent must feel when their child takes their first steps or starts their first day of school. And those tears that a mother cries of both happiness and sadness are the same tears one cries when it is an end to a chapter of their lives through to the transition of the next.

Sometimes no matter how much you think being alone will provide you clarity and guidance, when you have it, it can leave you just as distraught or lost as you were before, if not more. When you make a mistake your family forgives you no matter what, they’re your family and nothing can change that, not a choice, not a feeling, not a fight, and not words. And sometimes even if you push them to their limits or as far away as you possibly can, they somehow find their way right back beside you. Unfortunately, all relationships don’t work that way.

Friends, well I wonder how many of them we go through in the span of a lifetime. Sometimes its the bad friendships that lead you to the good ones, but even then it doesn’t make the transition any easier. Whereas with others, they kind of slip into the in between, you know, that space between what we have today and what we might have in the future, they get lost in the in between. One thing is for certain, each friend is important. Each friend has influenced you in one way or another that will always be unforgettable to you.

And relationships.

Relationships are tough. You go through a lot and one minute you’re practising walking down a beautiful aisle envisioning what your future has in store and the next you’re sitting drowning in tears and as much as you’re looking for someone to blame you just stop because there’s no one to blame but yourself. A relationship with a lover can easily feel like one you share with a family member except that they don’t always need to find themselves right back beside you. A partner can leave at any time, at any place without ever thinking twice or looking back. Sometimes you decide to walk away too and some of us don’t take these things as well as others. Some of us don’t know how to deal with them at all.

In the end, the one thing we all have are memories. And those memories are what can keep up afloat, but can also dig us into a deeper hole. Memories can allow us to reminiscence and remember, but can also bring false hope and disappointment.

Relationship Advice 020: Never Give Up On Love

I guess you could say I’m sort of a hopeless romantic, though I don’t think my relationship is hopeless! I’ve mentioned in many of my texts that Boyfriend and I have had a pretty rough start to our relationship, almost as if we got ripped off when it came to the honeymoon stage and dived right into the fights, arguments, disagreement, yeah, those things that make your relationship in some way more real. Nonetheless, I’m happy to announce that we are currently in our SECOND year of our relationship and I know now more than ever why I’m here.

You see ladies and gents, it took me a year to fall in love again. At first, I didn’t want to, I didn’t even want to hear about it and I was enjoying the single life. Not in a sluttish way, but using it to find myself again and I did. I have to say there were numerous occasions where I was ready to walk away and never look back, never try to find love again because to me, it just seemed pointless, stupid, and a never ending road of heart break, but what I didn’t see during our first year, that is so clear to me now, is that he wasn’t breaking my heart.

Fighting, to me (and maybe even to Boyfriend) is a learning process. We’ve screamed at each other and I’ve been in tears over arguments so many times, but the way I see it now, it was probably for the best. If we came this far in one year, just imagine how much stronger our relationship will be this year! We both have so many goals and aspirations we want to achieve this coming year and believe me I would be a mess if I didn’t have him by my side every step of the way. He has the ability to make me feel comfortable, calm, and safe physically, but even just by hearing his voice.

Ladies and Gents, never give up on love!

If you’ve read my previous posts you know that I grew up watching fairy tales and I guess in a sense that idea of a perfect guy has never left me, but I don’t think it has to. I said before that Boyfriend wasn’t breaking my heart, what he did do was change me. Everything that I ever imagined doing with someone one day, he made them a reality and not by me asking him to, he did it on his own. Yes, we fight and yes, I’ve wanted to leave, but I think it was only because of how serious our relationship was getting, how real it was, how much I love and care for him. Readers, just because something is not everything you’ve had in mind, doesn’t mean that it won’t make you happy. It’s a different kind of happiness, a love that really speaks to what love should be: something that is SHARED between TWO PEOPLE, not something conjured up in the head of one. 

If any of you are confused or lost within your current relationship, or stuck in this realm of the returning ex, don’t be, have faith in what you have and the person that is right in front of you. I didn’t want to see it, I didn’t want to change, but when you do everything is so much better for you and your relationship.

Leave a comment, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Ciao for now dolls! xoxo 

P.S. On our one year anniversary, Boyfriend and I returned to the place where he had asked me out one year ago and enjoyed a horse strung carriage ride. A day Boyfriend planned all on his own! Love you babe! xoxo

Relationship Advice 019: Keep Waiting Sweetheart, You’re EX Isn’t Coming Back!

Hey everyone,

So in my long absence, I’ve been keeping up with which posts my readers have been looking at and I’ve noticed that the one that is getting A LOT of attention is Relationship Advice 016: The Case of the Ex! Seriously?

I guess everyone is different and learns in due time (I hope) since that was the case with me. I’ve only ever seen  myself with one guy, my first love. He made me feel special, gave me my first kiss, and yeah, I guess I could even go so far as to say that he created a standard for the rest of the guy’s I’ve dated since.

Believe me, it’s taken me A LONG TIME to get to the realization that:

HE AIN’T EVERY COMING BACK!!

I think for me, the lack of closure for a really long time led me to believe that maybe, one day, that would be the guy I end up with! WRONG! 

I’m assuming since MANY of you are reading my past post, that A LOT of you are dealing with this very issue! So if you’re open to it, let me give you some advice…

Ladies and Gents, 

Any lack of closure is a warning sign. If someone is always willing to tell you what you want to hear and always there for you when you need them, why not be in a relationship right?

Firstly, it isn’t you! It’s not because you’re not pretty enough or smart enough, it’s because they’re too stupid to realize how good you are!  If they care for you as “more than a friend” but aren’t able to commit to that, why wait? It’s not fair for you to put your life on hold for someone who would NEVER do the same for you.

Secondly, for those of you who are in a relationship and reminiscing on the past, or confused as to whether you are with the right person, don’t be. The one you are with really and truly cares for you, that’s why they are with you now. My boyfriend is amazing and I’m such a lucky girl! I’ve always had these ideas of what I wanted my boyfriend to do and experiences that we would have, and I can honestly say that I have that and so much more now.

Dear readers, DO NOT let an EX ruin you! You’re wonderful, and you’ll find someone who appreciates it, just don’t second guess yourself. Good things happen for a reason!

Ciao for Now!! xoxo